for tonight...

i'm deeply saddened by all these terrible earthquakes happening around indonesia, and most recently in West Sumatra.

i want to send positive vibes and pray to those affected, i hope that they will have family and friends to hug and hold when they need comfort, shelter to rest, food to fill their stomachs, keep their energy levels up and their immune systems strong. i pray for people to stick together, lots of hearts to be touched to act and lend a hand. for help to quickly get to their destinations. for positive energy to win over the negative. i wish for the victims to have some peace in their hearts, at least to be able to sleep a little tonight. i wish for them to have all the strength and courage of the world. i wish we could all do a little something to make this situation better for them.

amin.

last month

around this time, 4 fridays ago, my grandmother took her last breaths. although it's bright and sunny out, i feel a cloud hovering over my head. i can't help that i'm deeply saddened. it's going to be.. different (for lack of words) this year, coming home from the morning ied prayers and not see her wait for our arrival on our front porch.

:_(

but, to end this on a positive note, last year was the most memorable ied morning ever. the sun was warm, we had laughs over breakfast, took family photographs, it was picture perfect. and this year she'll be here only in spirit. i hope (and i'm certain) that she's in a better place now, feeling at peace and content. i will try to throw my sadness away and learn to be happy for her.



ps. i love you and miss you very much. i'm so sorry if i ever hurt you or wasn't a good grandchild to you. i'm so sorry.

undeniable (feeling of) loss

my grandmother died last friday. her funeral was like a family reunion one day before the start of the holy month of ramadhan. i know i'm being selfish when i find myself crying and missing her, cos i know she's much happier and at peace where she is now.

on a lighter note, more of my family got to meet my fiancé :)


ps. nenek, thank you so much for everything, i sometimes think that i'm one of your favorites ;)

a little prayer, a big wish

Dear God, may both souls grow stronger together, may we become your instruments for goodness and please use this relationship that together we might know joy.

by Marianne Williamson