rainbows come after storms

i must say, the last week of 2010 and the first week of 2011 were quite tough for my family, with my father falling sick (gout) and my sister and niece both being admitted to the hospital for dengue fever. actually, tough wouldn't be the correct word. the past 2 weeks has been so fulfilling for me because i get to experience the unconditional love and security my family can provide for each other. we've grown very much closer and more solid in tough situations. serving my father whenever he needed anything, playing with my 6 year old niece, switching shifts to the hospital with my sister, doing chores and cooking with my mother. the more time i spend with my her, the more i'm at awe at how beautiful and strong and giving a person she is. she is truly superwoman. she is the definition of the very word, mother. the definition of unconditional pure love and strength. i must say i'm very blessed to be born into my family, very blessed as well to have such a supporting husband. and at the end of the first week of the new year, we've gained a new addition to our family! followed by my mother's birthday!


ps. pics from left to right: new year's eve on the front porch, fireworks above us. checking on sleeping rahma, afraid she was gonna wake in fright. finger-puppet show by rahma. straightening of hubby's hair as a punishment for failing last year's resolution. my first try at mom's addictive sweet soy sauce chicken recipe. baby niece, not-yet-named until this very second. and she's 3 days old now :)

missing

i've been missing my grandma immensely since the lombok trip, and my husband said "try to remember that she'd like you to be happy, and that she's in a better place now." i couldn't begin to imagine what he went through when he lost his father when he was just 9 years old, then losing his mother to cancer 10 years later. just thinking about the possibility of my parents dying makes my heart ache.

3

why do i feel so... normal?

in 3 days i will make a vow that will change my life forever. is that a normal thing to do?

is this what i'm supposed to feel? i've always wondered in the past, about this moment. and now that it's here, it's kind of surreal, cos this is just the way it is. no big drama nor breakdown (i sure hope not!).

i've been so busy this past month that i haven't really had time to digest what's really happening. i feel really bad when i don't put on a smile on my face, when my family has so many inputs as how the ceremony should go. i mean, i know they mean well. all they want is what's best for us and our day. all i want is a simple, joyous wedding. sometimes the simplest things become so complicated when many heads are around the table. i know that these things happen, afterall, that's what families are for. but it's actually not that bad, after all, that's how they are, loud and opiniated, how they should be! in the end, our families are very, VERY supportive. i wish i could (in my lifeteime) show them what their love means to me.

the nerve-wracking thing about what's gonna happen in 3 days is, that he and i will be the center of attention. uhm. i'm not sure i'm ready for that. i'm ready for marriage but i'm not ready to be the center of attention? that's quite funny.

the thing that's been weirding me out is that family have been talking to me about sex, contraceptives, how i should rest up, stretch to get flexible, and be healthy and strong for my honeymoon. uhm. oh-kay. so wasn't ready for that.

wish i could pause time for just one day. to digest. to feel. to record and recollect. to.. pause. but i can't. life goes on. time flies by. even my mom is getting nervous about "letting me go" in 3 days. and she hardly gets nervous! that's quite nice actually :)

i hope all goes well, all are healthy (especially my dad, please let him recover whatever his current health problems), and all have a good time.

whatever happens, happens. and i surely know what's happpening right now is wonderful!

pray for us and wish us luck!

a walk with him

i love that i have a photograph of me walking with mom, and a separate one walking with my dad. in a way, my mom is still in this one, represented by my red coat. :)



note: i couldn't open the frame to properly scan the photo cos it's old and stuck, hence the scanned frame.

she likes red.

what a pleasant surprise at the wee hours of yesterday!
found this picture of my mom and i. i think this was taken outside of loblaw's after a bit of grocery shopping. now that i think of it, even if she wasn't wearing her red floral dress, her red kerchief to tie her hair back, or bringing her red umbrella along before it rained, she'd be wearing red lipstick. even now, at the age of 64, she still puts her red lipstick on at home.

my favorite wedding photograph

my parents on their wedding day, almost 41 years ago.

on mother's day

was doing my morning routine on monday, scrolling down postsecret.blogspot.com.

when i found this, i nearly cried.

i've been having a much closer relationship to my mother since i told her about my intentions of getting wed, and this postcard just hit home.